Forever…Again Read online

  “You could have fooled me.”

  One corner of his mouth lifted higher. “To quote you…‘You’re not so bad yourself.”’

  Lily laughed and slapped one hand across her mouth to muffle the sound.

  “What’s so funny?’

  “It’s so clichéd,” she said when she finally got her laughter under control. “We’re actually having the ‘Was it good for you?’ talk.”

  He laughed, too, and shook his head. “Well, someone has to have that talk, or it’s not officially a cliché, is it?”

  “I guess not.”

  Lily watched him and though she knew it was silly, since he was sitting right beside her, she felt him distance himself. There was nothing overt about it, and she was almost sure that he wasn’t even aware of it. But still, it was there.

  In the last few hours they’d been as close as too people could ever be. They’d explored every inch of each other’s bodies and discovered what delights they held. Yet now that there was a pause in the festivities, there was a sense of discomfort quickly rising up between them like an invisible wall Lily had no idea how to scale.

  Seconds of silence ticked past and Lily almost felt that wall grow another couple of inches. Funny, but she was sitting naked beside this man and felt as though she couldn’t touch him.

  “Lily—”

  “Look—”

  They both stopped, and that sense of uneasiness settled down between them.

  “You first,” he said, waving one hand in a halfhearted bow.

  She inhaled sharply, then let the air rush from her lungs. “This was…amazing,” she said, stepping carefully now as she hadn’t all night. They’d moved together in a smooth rhythm, as if they’d done this dance many times before. Why now, when it was all over, did it feel awkward between them?

  “Yeah, it was.”

  “Me first, remember?”

  “You’re right. Go ahead.”

  Great. She had the go-ahead. Now, if she only had the words.

  “I might be wrong, but I’m picking up on a little…regret, coming from you.”

  One black eyebrow lifted, but he didn’t deny it. Small consolation to be right in this instance.

  “Not regret exactly,” he said, and took her hand in his. Rubbing his thumb over her fingers, he looked down at their joined hands for a long moment before looking up at her again. “It’s just that you surprised me again, Lily.”

  She took comfort from the feel of his hand on hers. “Yeah? How?”

  He swallowed hard. “I didn’t expect to feel so much,” he admitted. “And I don’t know what to do with it all.”

  “Why do you have to do anything with it?” she asked, watching his eyes, seeing the shadows play in the blue-green depths. She wished they weren’t there, but since they were, better to deal with them outright. “Ron, we’re two adults who wanted to spend the night together. It would have been pointless if we hadn’t enjoyed it, wouldn’t it?”

  He smiled and squeezed her hand. “Yeah.”

  “This,” she said, waving her free hand to indicate the wide bed and the two of them, naked in the center of it, “doesn’t mean forever. It doesn’t mean that you have to do anything beyond telling me how wonderful I am.”

  She said the last with a soft smile on her face and hoped he wouldn’t notice just how much those casual words had cost her.

  “That’s easy enough,” he said, and leaned in to dust a kiss at the corner of her mouth. Pulling back, just a breath, he whispered, “Lily, you’re wonderful.”

  She shivered again.

  Foolish heart, she thought as that organ jumped into life. Hadn’t her heart been broken enough in her lifetime? Hadn’t it learned anything?

  He stared deeply into her eyes and she knew the truth. Her heart would never learn to stop loving. To stop reaching for what she’d longed for most of her life.

  It would be up to her to protect both her heart and the new life she’d built in Kentucky.

  “Back atcha,” she said, forcing a teasing note into her voice as she reached up and stroked his cheek with her fingertips. “I didn’t even mind the beard—too much.”

  “Good to know.” He pulled her into his arms, swinging her around to lie across his lap.

  Cradled in his muscular arms, Lily stared up at him and tried to keep her heart from taking that one wild, last leap. She felt his heartbeat beneath her cheek and felt the strong grip of his hands on her body and knew she was fighting a losing battle. Still, she tried to warn herself to keep her emotions in check. To stick to the rules she’d set down for this affair.

  But as his eyes met hers and his hands caressed her with long, tender strokes, Lily knew this was a war she would never win.

  Her heart had taken the plunge already.

  She was in love—real love—for the first time in her life.

  With a man who still loved a ghost.

  Sudden tears burned, and blurred her vision.

  Then he dipped his head for another kiss, and Lily clung to him, pouring her heart and her newly discovered emotions into the meeting of their mouths. She gave him all she had, even knowing that he would never have taken it if he’d guessed the truth.

  Their simple little affair was going to end up breaking Lily’s heart.

  Again.

  Chapter Eleven

  While sitting at her desk the next morning, the previous night’s “activities” seemed almost like a dream. Like something that had happened to someone else. Until, of course, Lily tried to do something foolish like walk down the hall to fetch herself a cup of coffee. Then, as every muscle in her body ached and screamed with fatigue, she was forced to realize that yes, the night had happened.

  Not that she didn’t want to remember it all. Actually, she was fairly certain that every moment of the glorious night had been permanently etched into her brain. She just knew that when she was eighty she’d be able to close her eyes and remember the feel of Ron’s lips on her body.

  She only hoped the pain in her heart would have lessened by then.

  Shaking her head, she grumbled, “For heaven’s sake, Lily, stop being so melodramatic. It isn’t the end of the world, you know.”

  “Who’re you trying to convince?”

  Lily gasped, slapped one hand to the bottom of her throat and forcibly pushed her heart back into her chest where it belonged. Shooting a quick look at the open doorway, she saw Mari Bingham standing on the threshold staring at her with a small smile on her face.

  “How long have you been there?” Lily asked.

  “Long enough to know that the secret to good PR is to talk to yourself,” Mari said, and came into the room without waiting for an invitation. She plopped tiredly down into one of the chairs opposite Lily’s desk, and, as she was wont to do whenever she had the chance, Mari lifted her legs and crossed her ankles on the corner of the desk.

  One of Lily’s eyebrows arched. “Tired, are we?”

  “Oh,” Mari said, leaning her head back as she waved one hand at Lily, “don’t go all Miss Perfect Etiquette on me now, Lily. We both know you prop your feet up all the time.”

  “My desk, my feet,” she pointed out, smiling.

  “My clinic, your desk, my feet.”

  Lily laughed. “Fine. You win.”

  Mari smiled but didn’t open her eyes. “Thank you. God, I needed this break. I’ve had two deliveries since 3:00 a.m. and one miscarriage. My feet think I’ve forgotten how to sit down.”

  “You’re young,” Lily quipped. “You’ll make it.”

  “I may make it,” Mari said on a sigh, “but if Bryce has his way, I’ll be playing doctor at the women’s prison.”

  “You don’t believe that for a minute.”

  “Don’t I?” Mari lifted her head, opened her eyes and looked at Lily. “I can’t really count on anything anymore when it comes to Bryce,” she admitted. “I mean, I used to know him, but…”

  Lily watched worry streak through Mari’s eyes, and she spoke instinc
tively to quash it. “Your father just said to me last night that times change—people don’t. Bryce is still the man you know. He’s just…”

  “Being a jerk?”

  “Male, really, but in this case, it amounts to the same thing.”

  Mari smiled briefly and a few of the shadows in her eyes lifted. “Thanks. I’ll try to keep that in mind.”

  “Good.” Lily started stacking the papers on her desk, then picked up her pen to make a note to call the caterers about the fund-raising dinner.

  “So, Dad told you that last night, did he?”

  She stopped writing.

  Lily’s grip on the gold-plated pen tightened until she was almost surprised that the black ink didn’t come squirting out the top of the darn thing.

  Carefully she lifted her gaze to Mari’s and found the younger woman watching her with a knowing gleam in her eyes.

  Well now, Lily thought. Here it comes. She’d known going in that there could be trouble. Having an affair with her employer’s father was possibly not the best career move she might have made. But even as she thought that, she admitted to herself that whatever happened, last night had been worth it.

  She’d never felt such overwhelming sensations. Never been touched with so much fire and tenderness. Never known the incredible joy of sharing a bed with a man who was determined to make you the climax queen of the South.

  Oops. Better keep those particular thoughts buried just a bit deeper when talking to her lover’s daughter.

  “Enjoy Big Jim’s, did you?” Mary asked casually, linking her fingers atop her abdomen.

  Lily’s eyes narrowed on her. “How did you—”

  “Please.” Mari laughed shortly. “That little piece of news had spread all over town before you and dad got your dinner check.”

  “But it’s an hour outside of town.”

  “You’ve never heard of telephones? We have them down here, too, you know.”

  “Oh for heaven’s sake.” Someone in that restaurant had obviously spotted Ron and her and hadn’t been able to wait to get home to start the rumors buzzing. She should have expected it. After all, it was a small place. Not much to gossip about—until lately, at least. And maybe people were looking for a change of pace. Get tired of trying to convince your neighbors that Mari Bingham was a closet drug dealer? No problem. Here’s a juicy little nugget just picked up at Big Jim’s Barbecue.

  “So, did you two have fun?”

  Lily leaned back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest in the age-old image of self-defense and looked at the younger woman opposite her. “What did your sources have to say about that?”

  “Oooh.” Mari grinned and wiggled both eyebrows, clearly enjoying herself. “Apparently you two were seen dancing close enough that a marriage license wouldn’t have fit in between you.”

  “Oh my…”

  “And,” Mari said, dragging that one-syllable word out into at least three or four.

  “There’s more?” Lily winced, wondering just what was going on in Mari’s mind about all this. Hard to tell when the woman was so busy teasing Lily.

  “Oh, yeah. Gets even better.”

  “Of course it does,” she said on a sigh.

  “It seems that dad’s hand slipped down onto your…‘bee-hind,’ I believe was the word.”

  “For pity’s sake.” Lily felt a blush rise up and fill her face with heat and color. This had to be a new record. A woman her age blushing.

  “And I’m assured,” Mari continued, “that you approved of the maneuver.”

  “Oh, God.” Lily sat forward, folded her arms on her desk, then dropped her forehead on top of them. Small towns, she reminded herself. This was what she’d wanted. To be a part of a place. To have everyone know her.

  Well, what was the old saying? “Be careful what you wish for?”

  “So, did you?”

  Lily lifted her head briefly to glare at Mari. “Did I what, exactly?”

  “Enjoy it, of course.” Mari’s legs dropped to the floor and she sat up in her chair, leaning her own forearms on the desk as she stared directly into Lily’s eyes. “Did you want Dad to—or did you tell him to knock it off?”

  “Your report was apparently unclear on that?”

  “The spy was interrupted by the arrival of her dinner. She had to hang up before I got the full details.”

  “At least I’m spared something then,” Lily muttered.

  “So tell me.”

  “Why would I?” Lily asked warily. “You’re not only the man in question’s daughter, but my employer, as well. Remember?”

  “The reason I want to know is because I’m his daughter,” Mari said, and the teasing light was gone from her eyes. Now when she looked at Lily, she was dead serious, though her eyes shone warmly. “Do you like him?”

  “Mari—”

  “Come on, Lily. Be a pal.”

  She blew out a breath and frowned. But she admitted, “Yes. I like him.” She wasn’t willing to say more on that subject, however. Surely it was bad enough that she’d admitted to herself that she loved the very sturdy, very attractive Ron Bingham. She certainly wouldn’t be spreading the news far and wide.

  It would be enough to have Ron running for Outer Mongolia.

  “I’m so glad,” Mari said softly.

  “What?”

  “Glad.” Reaching across the desk, Mari laid one hand on Lily’s forearm. “Dad’s been alone too long, Lily. He loved my mom…we all did.” Her eyes went dark and damp for a moment, but thankfully it didn’t last. “But she’s been gone for ten years. I don’t want to see him alone for the rest of his life.”

  “Oh, Mari,” she said, shaking her head and sitting up straight. “Don’t get your hopes up in that direction.”

  “Why not? You said you liked him. And I can tell he likes you.”

  “Liking and spending the rest of your life with someone are two very different things.”

  “Yes, but it has to start somewhere, doesn’t it?”

  “You of all people should know that what you feel for someone isn’t always enough.” It had been said kindly, and Lily really didn’t want to hurt Mari by reminding the woman that she had walked away from Bryce, the man she loved. But she could see in Mari’s expression that she’d made her point. “Sometimes things just don’t happen the way you’d like them to.”

  “And sometimes,” Mari countered, pushing herself to her feet with a tired groan, “if you want them badly enough, you can make them happen.”

  Lily stood up, too, just to keep things on an even keel. The daylight pouring through her office windows only defined the fatigue on Mari’s face, the pale-purple shadows beneath her eyes. Lily’s maternal instinct…the one she’d never been allowed to use…kicked in as she came around her desk and wrapped her arms around her friend.

  “Instead of worrying about your dad and me,” she said softly, “why don’t you start taking better care of yourself. You’re going to worry Ron if you don’t get rid of those suitcases under your eyes.”

  Mari’s lips twisted briefly, but she nodded. “I am tired. Maybe I’ll go into the back room and take a nap.”

  “Good idea. We’ll call you if we need you.”

  Mari nodded and started for the door. She stopped at the threshold though and glanced back over her shoulder. “I mean it, Lily. I’d really like you and my dad to be happy together. I think you’d be great for each other.”

  “Thank you, Mari. That means a lot to me.”

  Warmth flooded Lily, stealing her breath and making the threat of sudden tears a very real possibility. But she blinked them back and told herself it didn’t matter if Mari was in favor of a permanent relationship for her father. All that really mattered was that Ron was still in love with the woman he’d lost ten years ago.

  And though he might have room for sex in his life…he didn’t have room for love.

  The Bingham home on the outskirts of town was impressive. Lovely, yet hardly palatial, it had stood in
the same spot for generations. It now held a settled, comfortable look, as if well pleased with itself.

  Ancient trees lined the yard, and flower beds were meticulously weeded and pruned. Hydrangea bushes, showing off the last of the flowers for the season, huddled along the line of the house and brightly cheerful impatiens hugged the bases of the trees.

  Lily pulled into the long drive and shut off the engine of her snazzy little red two-seater convertible. She stared up at the house and was, for some bizarre reason, reluctant to go inside.

  Fine, she thought, rebelling against her own cowardice. She knew exactly why she didn’t want to go inside. She’d already had a heart-to-heart talk with her lover’s daughter. She wasn’t entirely sure she was up to a repeat performance with the man’s mother.

  But, she couldn’t very well sit out in the car all afternoon. So, deciding she would be the consummate professional, Lily grabbed her camel-colored leather briefcase and climbed out of the car.

  Smoothing her short, straight red skirt, she plucked her suit jacket off the back of the passenger’s seat and slung it carelessly over her left shoulder. It was too hot to wear it, but she liked to have it nearby, reinforcing the supremely confident-career-woman image.

  “You’re being ridiculous, you know,” she muttered to herself as she took the short set of steps that led to the wide front door. “Myrtle is a lovely woman who is interested solely in the fund-raiser—and she has every right to be kept apprised.”

  So why then did she feel like she was walking into the Inquisition?

  She rang the doorbell, waited two seconds and then the door was being opened—by Ron. Ridiculously enough, she felt like a teenager who’d just bumped into the boy she had a crush on. Her heart jumped and skittered wildly in her chest, and she was pretty sure her blood pressure had just taken a soaring leap toward the heavens.

  Lily swallowed hard and looked up into his blue-green eyes. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

  “I can tell,” he said wryly. “You don’t exactly have a poker face, Lily.”

  “Good thing I’ve never played then, isn’t it?”