Satisfying Lonergan's Honor Page 4

  “Jake…” She swallowed hard and looked up at him. “I should—”

  “—go,” he finished for her. “Yeah, I know.”

  Jake had known Donna for years. And they’d always been friends. This summer, though, something had changed. Though she was Mac’s girlfriend, Jake had felt her watching him when she thought he wasn’t looking. He’d seen the same interest in her eyes that he knew shone in his.

  There was something between them. Something he wanted to explore. Something he wanted defined. Did she feel for him what he felt for her?

  Was it possible that she didn’t love Mac? Could she love him instead?

  Her hands flattened on his chest and he knew she felt his heartbeat pounding frantically. Her touch seemed to sear him right down to his bones. Heat rushed through his body, staggering him with the force of the desire nearly choking him.

  “Donna,” he whispered, bending his head down to hers, “don’t go. Stay. With me.”

  She shook her head slowly. “I can’t. You know I can’t.”

  All around them, the night stilled. Not a breath of air moved. No barking dogs sounded out at a distance. No other cars drove down the dark road. Stars and moon shone down from a jet-black sky and seemed to wrap them both in a hungry silence.

  “Why not?” he asked, though he knew the answer already.

  “It wouldn’t be right,” she said, her gaze moving over his face like a touch.

  “It feels right.”

  “I don’t want to go, Jake.”

  He smiled. “Then stay.”

  She moved her hands on his chest, sliding her palms over his tank top, her fingertips just brushing skin, leaving fire in their wake. He sucked in a gulp of air, tightened his arms around her waist and dipped his head closer toward hers.

  She watched him advance, and he waited for her to pull away, to turn her head aside in an attempt to ward off his kiss. But she didn’t. She only looked at him through clear blue eyes that seemed to look down deep inside him.

  Her mouth was full and lush and only a breath away. He tasted it. Quickly, briefly, just a brush of his mouth on hers. She inhaled sharply, licked her lips, then cautiously moved into him.

  Jake’s heart in his throat now, he kissed her again, this time pouring all he felt, all he wished for, all he wanted into that one kiss. Her lips parted beneath his and his tongue swept into her heat, claiming her as he’d wanted to all summer.

  She moaned and that tiny sound fed the flames within. Desire fisted in his throat, clamored in his blood and demanded more. Demanded everything.

  His hands shifted, sliding up and down her spine, cupping her bottom, squeezing and then sliding back up as he tried to feel all of her. She moved against him and he wondered if she could feel how hard he was. Did she know what she was doing to him? Did she want it, too? Did she want him as badly as he wanted her?

  Eagerly he lifted the hem of her tiny tank top and slid his hands beneath the soft fabric. Her skin felt better than silk. Warm, smooth. Skimming his hands along her flesh, he reached higher, until he felt the undersides of her bare breasts.

  She hissed in a breath and deepened their kiss, groaning and leaning into him. Her tongue entwined with his, their breaths mingling in a desperate dance of need.

  And then his hands were full of her ripe breasts, his thumbs moving carefully across her hard nipples. She gasped at the sensation and jerked her head back to look at him.

  Breath jittered in and out of her lungs as she watched him. He watched her, too, and saw passion glaze her eyes with every flick of his thumbs on her nipples.

  “Donna,” he managed to say on a choked groan, “I need—”

  “Me, too, Jake” she admitted, “me, too.”

  She didn’t do anything to stop him when he dropped his hands to the waistband of her shorts. Her hands ran up and down his arms in a silent plea for him to hurry.

  His fingers fumbled with the snap and zipper of her denim cutoffs. He cursed under his breath and she laughed lightly, the music of it settling into him. Finally, though, he opened her shorts and in the next instant, he was sliding one hand beneath her flowered panties to find the heat he craved.

  Laughter died as she swayed and reached out blindly for his shoulders. Her fingers dug into his bare skin and he felt the imprint of each of her short, neat nails digging into his flesh. But he didn’t care. Hardly noticed. All he could think was, his dream had come true at last.

  Donna was his.

  At the first touch of his fingers at her center, she shivered in his arms and gasped his name aloud. “Jake, Jake, what…?”

  He didn’t know, either. He and his cousins had talked plenty about times like these. But as much as they liked to brag, none of them had ever gotten further than unhooking the occasional bra.

  Tonight was different.

  Tonight was special.

  He pushed his hand farther into her panties and dipped one finger into her damp heat. The glory of it filled him and urged him on. He stroked her, inside and out, loving the slick feel of her on his hand.

  She sucked in a gulp of air. Her eyes looked wild and crazed. He kissed her and she kissed him back—for one long, amazing minute.

  Then she stopped suddenly, pulled his hand from her and took a quick step back. Buttoning up her shorts, adjusting her shirt, she shook her head. “I can’t do this. I can’t let us do this.”

  “Donna.” He took a step and winced with the pain of trying to walk around a rock-hard erection.

  “I want to, really badly,” she said, swallowing again and shaking her head more firmly, as if trying to convince herself of what she was saying. “Jake, you make me feel…I don’t know…special. But we can’t do this. What about Mac?”

  “You want me, not Mac,” he said shortly.

  “Don’t, Jake.” She held up one hand to keep him at bay and hurried to the driver’s side door of the car. “Just—don’t. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I’m…sorry.”

  Then she jumped into the car, fired up the engine and with one last look of regret, drove past him, leaving him on the side of the road, wondering where the magic had gone.

  Jake pulled in a long, shuddering breath and came back from the past with a jolt. Strange that one night so long ago could be so clear in his mind. So vivid that he could still feel both the need and Donna’s rejection so completely.

  He held on to the anger bubbling in the pit of his stomach as he looked down into eyes that were every bit as beautiful as they had been so long ago. Anger was a much safer emotion to cling to.

  “You used me,” he said tightly.

  “What?”

  “You came on to me,” Jake accused, though even as he said it, he knew it was a lie. “Got yourself all fired up, then ran off to Mac.”

  “You seriously think I did that on purpose?”

  “You were a tease, Donna.”

  “And you were a jerk,” she snapped. “Just like you are now.”

  “You wanted me,” he said, moving in on her with long, slow steps, even as she backed up.

  At the end of the aisle, she came up short, glanced around as if mentally deciding whether or not to just bolt—then shifted her gaze to his. He saw her make the decision to stand her ground flash in her eyes and a part of him stood back and admired her for it.

  “Yes, I wanted you,” she said, pushing her hair back from her eyes with an impatient swipe of her hand. “I was young and stupid and when you touched me, I—”

  “Burned?”

  “Yes,” she admitted with a sigh that released a pent-up breath. She wrapped her arms around her middle and hung on tightly. Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip again and Jake really hated the fact that the action could still have an effect on him. “I was fifteen, Jake. I’d never felt anything like that before and it scared me.”

  He nodded slowly and that small bit of patience cost him. “So you took what started between us and let Mac finish it.”

  “I was upset. Shaken.” She lifted one han
d to rub at a spot between her eyes. “When I left you on the road that night, I drove to the lake. Coop and Sam were already gone. Mac saw something was bothering me. I didn’t tell him,” she said quickly, “about you and me, I mean. I just… I was crying and Mac was sweet. Gentle.”

  “And you and he—” God, he didn’t want that image in his head. All the times he’d thought of that night. Of what might have been. All the times he’d waken up shaking, remembering her innocence, her eagerness, her breathless passion.

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” she said, sighing. “It just did.”

  “Because Mac wasn’t like me.”

  She lifted her chin and glared at him. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  “Been trying to for fifteen years.”

  “Oh, please,” she said with a strangled laugh. Pushing past him, she walked back to the counter and the stack of movies still waiting to be shelved. “You seriously don’t expect me to believe you’ve given me a single thought over the years, do you?”

  He caught up with her in a few long strides. Catching hold of her upper arm, he turned her around to look at him. “Can you tell me that you haven’t thought of what happened between us that night? Can you look me in the eye and tell me it never haunts you? That you don’t regret giving in to what was happening?”

  Donna’s breath caught in her chest and she swallowed hard past a knot of need that had suddenly erupted in the middle of her throat. Just one touch of Jake’s hand and her skin was on fire.

  “Is that what you need to hear?” she countered, without really answering his question at all. “Do you really need to believe that you were that unforgettable? We were kids, Jake.”

  “Uh-uh. We stopped being kids the minute we kissed.”

  His fingers tightened on her arm and as he bent his head toward hers, Donna knew she should do something. Anything. She couldn’t get involved with Jake. Not now. Not when there was Eric to think about.

  Besides, the bottom line was, Jake still made her scared of what she was feeling.

  “There’s unfinished business between us, Donna.”

  His voice, a deep, low rumble of sound seemed to roll over every last nerve in her body. Tingling sensations sprang into life within her. Heat pooled between her thighs and made her knees weak.

  “Jake…”

  “You smell the same,” he whispered, dipping his head to the curve of her neck.

  She held her breath and let it slide slowly from her lungs when his lips touched the base of her throat. A warning voice in her mind reminded her that they were at the video store. That there was a plate glass window opening onto Main Street. That anyone could come into the store at any moment.

  But that logical, rational little voice was drowned out by the clamoring of her heartbeat and the desire already rocking her to her soul.

  “Why did you have to come home?” she asked breathlessly.

  “For this,” he said, and covered her mouth with his.

  Hunger.

  Raw, undeniable hunger raged within her.

  Every cell in her body leaped up and shouted in mindless joy.

  He opened her mouth with his tongue and she met that intimate touch with abandon. Moving into him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him tightly. His mouth, more practiced now than on that long-ago night, brought her to the peak of want and pushed her over.

  Again and again, his tongue plunged her depths and she gave herself up to the heat. Everything else faded away, the world, her job, her responsibilities and at once, she was that young girl again. Inexperienced and burning with a need she didn’t understand.

  Jake swept one hand down her spine and cupped her behind. She groaned into his mouth as he kneaded her flesh with strong, sure fingers. Then he shifted his grip, sliding his hand around to her front and through the fabric of her jeans, he cupped her aching heat. Applying steady pressure as he rubbed and stroked her, he brought her almost to the point of climax—and stopped.

  Gasping for air, Donna swayed unsteadily and slapped one hand onto the counter to balance herself as she stared up at him. His dark eyes glittered with unassuaged hunger, with a need that dwarfed even her own.

  “Jake, what’re you…”

  “Not here,” he ground out, throwing one glance at the front windows and the empty sidewalk beyond the glass. “Not now.”

  Throat tight, heart racing, Donna struggled to find both air and her dignity.

  “I want you,” Jake told her, shoving both hands into his pockets as if he didn’t quite trust himself not to make another grab for her. “And this time, I plan to have you.”

  A short, humorless laugh shot from her throat as Donna glared at him. “I was right. You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still Danger Man.”

  “Maybe I am,” he agreed softly. “But you’re not a fifteen-year-old virgin anymore, are you?”

  “No, I’m not,” she said, gathering the threads of self-control and holding tightly to them. “I’m an adult. A mother. With more to think about than feeding my own desires.”

  “Bull!!”

  “I beg your pardon?” She tried for a dismissive sniff, but didn’t quite pull it off.

  He pulled one hand free of his pocket, tipped her chin up until their gazes met and looked at her squarely. “A minute ago, you were ready to ride me into a gallop right here on the floor.”

  She flushed, because damned if he wasn’t right. Her brain had shut down and her body had taken over. Which is exactly why Jake had scared her so badly fifteen years ago. When she was with him, she didn’t want to think about anything but being with him, on him.

  “And soon,” he promised, bending to give her a brief, hard kiss, “we’re gonna take that ride together.”

  He brushed past her then, heading for the front door. Donna listened to his heavy boot steps across the gleaming tile floor and she turned just as he reached the doorway.

  “Jake?”

  He swiveled his head to look at her, one dark eyebrow lifting in silent question.

  “Whatever’s between you and me?” she said. “It doesn’t give you an opening to Eric.”

  He frowned at her and shook his head. “You don’t get it, Donna. We don’t need an opening to Eric. He’s a Lonergan. That makes him one of us. Family.”

  “His name is Eric Barrett.”

  “Doesn’t make him any less a Lonergan, or us any less his family.” Jake lifted one hand and touched his forehead in farewell. “I’ll be seeing you, Donna.”

  Five

  An hour later, Donna closed the shop early. If anyone in Coleville wanted to rent a movie for the night, they’d just have to make the thirty-mile drive to San Jose. No way was she going to stay in that shop surrounded by the fresh new memories of Jake holding her, kissing her.

  Muttering darkly, she tossed her purse onto the front seat of her compact car, turned the key and fired up the engine. Putting the gearshift in reverse, she quickly backed out and drove for the house where she’d grown up, just a mile or so away.

  It felt weird, being back home again. Nice, but weird. She’d been gone so long, had changed so much, that being back in her hometown felt almost…dreamlike.

  Coleville seemed as though it had been standing still. The people she remembered were all older now, but the stores and the quiet, family-filled streets remained the same. Her hands fisted on the steering wheel as she drove slowly down Main Street, letting her gaze sweep the storefronts.

  The tree-lined streets of Coleville were practically empty. No doubt, most everyone was more concerned with staying inside their air-conditioned homes than with shopping. And who could blame them. Summer was finally winding down, but it wasn’t leaving without a fight. Heat waves danced across the road in front of her, wavering in the blistering sunlight like she supposed a mirage in the desert would.

  But the heat within Donna had nothing to do with summer. It was all Jake’s fault. She stopped at a red light and idly tapped her fingers agai
nst the steering wheel.

  “Okay, so it’s not all his fault,” she muttered and closed her eyes against a fresh wave of heat that swept her up and down before settling to burn between her thighs.

  “What is it about him that turns you into a walking hormone, anyway?” she asked herself, opening her eyes to glare at her reflection in the rearview mirror.

  But she already knew the answer to that question. Even as a kid, Jake Lonergan was the epitome of a “bad boy.” His hair was always a little too long, his jeans a little grubby, his T-shirts a little too tight and his eyes… “Oh, God, his eyes.”

  Her chin hit her chest. She was in bad trouble. And she couldn’t afford to give in to her desires. Her wants. Needs. She had a fourteen-year-old son to think about. To protect.

  Nodding grimly to herself, she turned left when the light turned green and headed down Lemon Street. Old growth trees leaned in toward each other over the street, creating a cool arch that dotted the road with lacy patterns of sunlight splashing through the leaves.

  As she pulled into the driveway, she nodded at a neighbor, riding a lawn mower across his carefully tended lawn. She got out and heard not only the mower’s loud engine but the sounds of barking dogs and laughing children, running through sprinklers across the street.

  Good. Normalcy. This is good, she told herself, headed for the house. That little moment with Jake was way outside normal. But now things were back in place. She was back in control.

  She could survive the rest of the summer. And then Jake would be gone. And hopefully, she’d never have to deal with him again. Yet even as that thought crept through her mind, Donna realized that she’d never be free of Jake entirely. Now that he knew about Mac’s son, he’d expect—knowing Jake, demand—to be a part of the boy’s life.

  “Well fine,” she said, opening the door and stepping into the blessed cool of her mother’s living room. “That doesn’t mean he has to be a part of my life.”

  “That you, honey?”

  Her mother’s voice sang out from the back of the house and Donna smiled. No matter the trouble she might be having with Jake, she’d done the right thing in coming home. She’d missed her mom over the years and being here with her now was important. To both of them.