Expecting Lonergan’s Baby Page 6

  And if things had been different, he probably would have. But he’d learned early that loving, caring, only meant that you could be hurt, torn apart inside by a whim of fate. So now he chose to stand apart. To keep his heart whole by keeping it locked away.

  “I like to be on the move,” he said and heard the gruffness of his own voice scratching at the air. Here, in this kitchen that shone and glistened in the morning sunlight, a part of him wished things were different. Wished he were different.

  But no amount of wishing could turn back time.

  “Before,” she said, apparently unwilling to let this conversation end and allow him an escape, “you told me that you weren’t a nice man.”

  He stilled, his hands atop the medical bag that went with him everywhere. “It’s the truth.”

  “No,” she said softly. And he couldn’t help it—he had to look at her.

  The sun shining in behind her silhouetted and lined her form with gold. Their gazes locked. She looked deeply into his eyes, and Sam wanted to warn her that what she would see in his soul wasn’t really worth a long look.

  “It’s not the truth at all,” she was saying, her gaze on his, a small smile curving her lips. “I think you’d like to believe it’s true, but it’s not.”

  “You don’t know me,” Sam countered and deliberately forced himself to break the spell somehow linking them. He grabbed up his bag and took the few steps to the doorway leading out of the kitchen.

  Her voice stopped him.

  “Maybe not,” she said quietly. “But maybe you don’t know you very well, either.”

  “You shouldn’t come here alone.”

  Maggie’s rhythm was shattered and she came up out of her swim stroke to look at the man standing at the lake’s edge. Under the light of a nearly full moon he looked…amazing.

  All day she’d been thinking of him. Didn’t matter that he’d managed to keep out of her way, busying himself with tasks around the ranch yard. He’d mended fences, repaired a loose board on the back porch and cleared out the empty stables where Jeremiah used to keep horses.

  And when he hadn’t known she was watching, Maggie had taken the opportunity to indulge herself with a good stare. He worked like a man trying to keep himself too busy to think. In the heat of the afternoon he’d stripped off his black T-shirt, and Maggie’d been mesmerized by the sight of his tanned flesh, muscles rippling with his every movement.

  Heat had settled deep inside her and didn’t show any signs of dissipating. She’d moved through the rest of her day in a fog of confused lust. Not that she was confused about the lust. That was really clear. Gorgeous man, dark, haunted eyes, deep voice, gentle hands. What woman wouldn’t be tied up in knots over him?

  The confusion resulted from the fact that she knew he wanted her, too—and was doing everything he could to avoid her. But then, hadn’t they made a pact to do just that? Steer clear of each other?

  So why was he here now?

  Treading water, Maggie kicked her legs and waved her arms through the cool water, keeping herself afloat as she watched him. “I’ve been coming here alone for two years now. I’m perfectly safe.”

  “I came here every summer of my life. Only took the one time.”

  “Sam…” If they were going to have this talk, she wouldn’t do it while treading water. Giving a good strong kick, she headed for shore, and as soon as the water was shallow enough, she walked across the silty bottom, sand pushing up between her toes. Water rained off her body and she wrung her hair out before tossing it over her shoulder as she moved up onto the shore, coming to a stop right in front of him.

  His gaze swept up and down her quickly, thoroughly. “No more skinny-dipping?”

  She glanced at the black one-piece bathing suit she wore, then lifted her gaze to his. Smiling, she shrugged. “I’m being a little more careful these days.”

  Instantly the humor in his eyes disappeared and he reached for her, curling his fingers into her shoulders as he pulled her close. His eyes even darker than usual, his voice was raw. “I hope you are. You don’t dive here, do you? Jump in from the ridge?”

  “No,” she said quickly, responding to the fear in his eyes more than to the dictatorial note in his voice. “I just come here to swim. To cool off.”

  She shifted her gaze to the moonlit water behind her. She tried to see it through his eyes, through the veil of a memory that clearly still shadowed him. But all she saw was the beauty. As always, being in this spot soothed her, filled her in a way that nothing else ever had. The sigh of the wind through the trees and across the open fields. The cool ripple of the water against her skin. The wash of pale light streaming down from the sky.

  “It’s beautiful here,” she said softly, almost reverently.

  “It is,” he agreed almost reluctantly, his grip on her shoulders easing but not releasing. “I’d forgotten.”

  “Sam.” She looked up at him and waited for his gaze to meet hers. “I…know what happened here fifteen years ago. I know why you and your cousins left and never came back.”

  In a heartbeat his hands tightened on her shoulders again, and she wasn’t sure if he was holding on to her to keep her there or to keep himself steady.

  Shaking his head, he looked down at her and sucked in a deep, long breath. “You can’t know. You can’t know what it’s like to be so young and to lose everything.”

  She reached up and cupped his cheek in her palm. Heart aching for him as she saw old pain blossom in the shine of his eyes, she said, “I know what it’s like to have nothing to lose. I know that you still have so much—but you’re determined not to see it.”

  He pulled her even closer and loomed over her. Maggie met his gaze and wouldn’t look away. The desire that had pumped inside her so fiercely came back to the forefront and made her nerve endings fire. Something fluttered in the pit of her stomach and she swallowed hard against the knot of need lodged in her throat.

  “You pull at me,” he admitted, his gaze sweeping over her face. “And if I could stop it, I would.”

  Her heartbeat galloped and her mouth went dry. “I know.” She wasn’t stupid. She knew it was a mistake to get involved with a man whose very presence might be a threat to her remaining at the ranch she loved. But it had been so long since she’d felt this sense of…wanting. And she’d never known the near electrical surge in her body that being close to Sam engendered.

  “I’ve told you, I’m not a nice man,” he said. “You have to believe me.”

  “I don’t.”

  He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers for a heartbeat of time. Warmth spiraled through her, like ribbon falling unfettered from a spool.

  “You will, Maggie,” he said. “God help me, you will believe me.”

  There was that confusion again.

  Then he took her mouth with his and all thought stopped. She didn’t want to think. She only wanted to feel. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her cold, wet body to his, and Maggie could have sworn she felt steam rise up between them.

  When he broke the kiss, she felt bereft, unsteady on her feet and hungry for more. Every cell in her body was awake and demanding attention. She watched him swallow hard and shudder as a matching need coursed through him.

  He lifted his head, stared down into her eyes and whispered, “This is a mistake.”

  “Probably.”

  “I want you,” he admitted. “More than I should.”

  Struggling for air, Maggie smiled up at him, still stunned to her soul with the power of that kiss. “I want you, too, Sam. Mistake or not.”

  “Thank God.”

  Six

  Warning bells went off in Sam’s mind, clanging loudly enough that he should have reacted to them. He should have let her go, taken a huge step back and then spent the rest of the night trying to forget the taste of her. The scent of her. The feel of her.

  But that wasn’t going to happen.

  He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue into her wa
rmth, feeling the shudder that wracked her body and tasting the sigh that slipped from her mouth into his. Her arms came up around his neck, her fingers smoothing through his hair, nails dragging along his scalp. A chill raced along his spine and danced with the blood boiling in his veins.

  Those warning bells came louder, but still Sam tuned them out. He couldn’t walk away from this. Couldn’t turn his back on a need, a hunger, that was suddenly stronger than anything he’d ever known.

  A hot summer wind wrapped itself around them and Sam dived deeper into the wonder that was Maggie. Lifting her off her feet, he staggered away from the bank, laid her down on the cool, green grass and levered himself over her.

  Tearing his mouth from hers, he shifted, kissing the line of her jaw, trailing his lips along the curve of her neck to the dip of her shoulder. He inhaled her scent, the lingering trace of floral shampoo in her hair, the clean, fresh scent of the lake water clinging to her skin. And he felt heat pool inside him, swamping him with a raw hunger that clawed at him.

  She sighed, slid her hands up and down his back, and even through the fabric of his T-shirt he felt the warmth of her touch singeing his skin. Sam shuddered, lifted his head and stared down into eyes as dark as his own. Moonlight flashed in her eyes and highlighted the desire shining there. When she took his face between her palms and pulled him down for a kiss, her mouth met his with a tenderness he hadn’t expected. A gentleness that rocked him more thoroughly than the need clamoring inside.

  Then her teeth tugged at his bottom lip, her tongue touched the tip of his and gentleness was forgotten. A nearly electrical jolt of something amazing shot through Sam, stealing his breath as it pushed his hunger to an overwhelming pitch.

  He groaned and swept one hand down the length of her body, feeling every curve, enjoying the cool dampness of her bathing suit and the heat waiting for him at her center. He cupped her, and even through the fabric separating his flesh from hers, he felt that heat pulling him in. For days he’d thought about this moment. He’d dreamed about touching her, the feel of his skin against hers. The brush of her lips, the sigh of her breath.

  In the few days he’d known her, Maggie had invaded his every thought. While a part of him worried over his grandfather and the consequences of returning to the ranch, there was another completely separate part of him that hadn’t been able to keep from thinking about her. From the moment he’d met her there’d been something simmering in the air between them. Something he’d never felt before. Something he really didn’t want to think about.

  At the moment it was enough to have her. To touch her.

  She gasped and arched into his touch, her legs separating, parting to give him easier access.

  It wasn’t enough.

  He needed more.

  Wanted more.

  Still kissing him, tantalizing him, her hands dropped to his belt and tugged at his shirt, pulling the hem of it free of his jeans and then pushing it up over his chest. Her palms splayed against his skin and it felt as though she were branding him—and he wanted to feel her hands all over him.

  Instantly he sat up, ripped off his shirt and tossed it to one side. He watched her and his breath strangled in his throat as she pushed first one strap of her suit, then the other off her shoulders. The tops of her breasts peeked up from the edge of the suit, straining against the stretchy fabric as if trying to escape. When she would have slid the suit farther down though, he stopped her.

  Heart pounding, throat tight, he grabbed her hands, stilled them and whispered, “Let me.”

  She licked her lips, nodded and then closed her eyes as he pushed the bathing suit down and off her until she lay naked in the moonlight. Her tan lines gleamed pale against her honey-colored flesh, and he found himself wishing she’d worn the bikini that had created those lines.

  “Went for a one-piece tonight,” he murmured, lips curving.

  She smiled and lifted one hand toward him. “I thought it would be…safer to be covered up, just in case I ran into you out here.”

  His smile faded as he watched her eyes. “Do you want to be safe?”

  She shook her head. “No. I want you.”

  “Glad to hear it.” He dipped his head and took first one of her nipples and then the other into his mouth.

  Her soft sighs scalded him. “Sam…”

  “I’ve been thinking about doing this since that first night,” he admitted, lifting his head as he stroked one hand down her chest, between her breasts, past her navel to the soft, dark curls at the juncture of her thighs.

  “Me, too,” she said and reached for him, running her fingertips down his chest, scraping her thumbnails across his flat nipples.

  He groaned again, fighting for air. For control. But it was a hopeless battle. With this woman naked before him, control wasn’t something he was really interested in. All he wanted, all he could think about, was burying himself inside her, feeling her heat surround him, surrendering to the hunger.

  Standing up, he toed off his boots, ripped off his jeans and then knelt down on the cool, soft grass in front of her. She sucked in air like a drowning woman and reached out her arms to him.

  “Don’t wait,” she said, planting her feet, lifting her hips and rocking them in silent invitation. “Don’t wait another minute.”

  “No. No waiting.” He stretched out over her, bracing himself on his hands at either side of her head. His gaze locked with hers as he entered her.

  “Tight.”

  “Good,” she whispered, arching her head back, keeping her gaze on his as he filled her. “Oh…Sam…”

  Better than good, he thought, biting back another groan of desperation. Essential. With one hard thrust he shoved himself all the way home, and she gasped, drawing her legs up, wrapping them around his hips, pulling him closer, deeper.

  He rocked his hips against hers, moving in and out of her heat with a rhythm driven by an overpowering need. She moved with him in a frantic dance fed by the flames devouring them both. Together they slid into a vortex of need that erupted around them, growing even as the demands of their bodies were met. The rest of the world dropped away and it was only the two of them—wrapped in a cocoon of desire that stripped away thought, logic, caution.

  Lost in the sigh of the wind and the call of a night bird, they raced toward completion. The blanket of grass their bed, the star-filled sky their roof, they were locked together in the darkness, lost in each other.

  Maggie stared up into Sam’s eyes as he took her, as his body claimed her, pushing her higher and faster than she’d ever been before. His body pushed into hers, and a delicious friction erupted within, sparkling through her veins like shaken champagne exploding from the bottle. She held on to him tightly, her arms and legs wrapped around his hard, strong body. She felt his breath on her cheek, saw the tempest in his eyes and knew she shared it.

  Breathless, she clung to the edge of sanity and fought for the wild release just out of reach. She arched into him again and again, trying to take him even deeper inside, struggling toward the soul-shattering end waiting for her.

  “Sam…Sam…” Her voice, broken, shattered the quiet.

  “Come for me,” he whispered, his voice rumbling through her like a freight train.

  “It…feels…” She couldn’t define it. Couldn’t explain it. Could only enjoy it and hope she survived it. And in the next second her body splintered in a fiery burst of sensation that nearly blinded her in its raw fury. She screamed, arching into him, quivering with the slam of pleasure that rocked her right down to her soul. She trembled and held on to him as if it meant her life while wave after wave of ecstasy rippled through her again and again.

  Body dissolving, a whimper clogged in her throat, Maggie still found the strength to cradle Sam when he emptied himself into her with a groan torn from the depths of his soul.

  Sam lay atop her and thought that even if it had meant his life, he wouldn’t be able to move. Heart thudding in his chest, he felt the rapid-fire echo of her
heart beating in time with his and knew she’d been as shaken as he. Gathering his strength, he pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down into her eyes. “You okay?”

  She licked her lips, blew out a short laugh, then moaned as their bodies moved together again. “I should be fine,” she said. “Once the paralysis goes away.”

  “I hear that.” Smiling, he brushed his palm across her breast and relished the hissed intake of her breath at the contact. She squirmed beneath him, her hips twisting, and he felt his body swell within her again.

  She must have felt it, too.

  “I see you’re not completely immobile.”

  “Apparently not.” He rocked his hips against hers, enjoying her quick inhalation of air and the way her body responded to his intimate invasion.

  Her arms dropped to her sides, then swept along the grass until they lay stretched out behind her head. She looked like an Earth goddess. Moonlight pale on her skin, the long, green grass enveloping her, her still-damp hair spread out around her, her eyes glazed with a quickening need that he felt, too.

  “Maggie,” he whispered, bending his head to taste her mouth, to mate her tongue with his, to give her his breath and swallow hers.

  “Sam,” she whispered, stretching, twisting, writhing beneath him, “we’re going to do it again, aren’t we?”

  “Oh, yeah. Again.”

  Sliding his hands beneath her back, he lifted her as he went to his knees. She took him deeper and groaned as she straddled him and he dropped his hands to her hips.

  Throwing her head back, Maggie stared blindly up at the night sky as she rocked on him, taking him so deep inside that she felt as though he was touching the tip of her heart. Her arms wrapped around his neck. She clung to him and ground her hips against him, creating the friction that sizzled deep within.

  He guided her every movement with his strong hands and held her steady even when she felt as though she were about to fly apart. Lifting her head, she looked into his eyes and dived into their darkness, drowning in their depths, losing herself in the heat, the need, the tantalizing sensations of wickedness that rippled through her and around her.